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Vulnerability, Sight Loss & The White Cane

Vulnerability, Sight Loss & The White Cane featured image description is in the body of the post.

Vulnerability, Sight Loss & The White Cane

“What bothered me most about my sight loss was my fear of people knowing I couldn’t see. Everywhere I went I felt so vulnerable and isolated not to mention, my anxiety levels rocketed off into the stratosphere.”

The first time I picked up a white cane was when my Orientation & Mobility (O&M) Specialist introduced me to one for my training. Perhaps it was the novelty of a new gadget is what prompted me to follow through but secretly I was bitter.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, in the privacy of my home it was okay to learn proper white cane techniques. Practicing in public was a different story.

  • What would people think?
  • Are they looking at me?
  • What if I run into something or someone?
  • Are they laughing at me?
  • Do I look foolish?
  • Are they talking about me?
  • Why? Why do I have to do this?

On and on these and many more questions ran through my head. I felt scared, exposed, and vulnerable. I hated vulnerability.

After my O&M training was complete I was free to use my cane independently. So what did I do? Simple, I stashed it away and continued living pretending.

With the exception of family, co-workers, and friends, no one knew I couldn’t see. The problem was I seldom went anywhere alone because while I didn’t look ‘blind’ I was.

So I continued my charade until the day I wanted to take a short stroll. I’ll never forget; I was at work it was the middle of the afternoon and I needed a little snack. I could have asked any number of people to go with me but I wanted to do this on my own. Afterall it was no biggie, and I was familiar with the route to the store which wasn’t far from my office.

So Clever & So Foolish

On the elevator ride down to the lobby of my office building I had second thoughts but squashed them. As I pushed through the revolving glass doors out onto the plaza I thought “maybe I should turn around.”

Alone with nothing but my thoughts for company, I walked to the store. As I walked by people I didn’t know whether they noticed me and it didn’t matter. For at this moment I appeared just as sighted as anyone else. That is if you ignored my superheroine move when stepping off curbs.

When you lack depth perception it can be tricky navigating uneven terrain. Your footing is unsure so curbs, stairs, cobblestones, etc. can make walking a little dicey. So what I would do is put out my right hand as if an invisible energy force would keep me from falling.

Once I reached the safety of the store I was so relieved because I’d done it by myself. After I bought my snacks and left the store it was just a couple of short blocks back to the office.

I did my little ‘step off the curb superheroine move’ then I heard it. A blaring car horn and someone shouting at me! How could I have missed it? The car nearly hit me and I didn’t see it coming. Shaky and on verge of tears I don’t know how I gathered myself but I made it back to the office.

Strength In A Simple Choice 

Acceptance of a major life-altering event like illness or disability can be extremely difficult. And even once the choice for acceptance is made it can still be a day-to-day struggle. However, I believe strength and freedom are found in acceptance.

I realized the day I was almost mowed down by that vehicle I had a choice. I could continue living in denial. Or I could pick up my white cane, embrace my sight loss and work to help others by sharing my story.

Today I not only use my white cane but I proudly wear my Abby gear! Below I describe today’s featured photo.

Vulnerability, Sight Loss & The White Cane Featured Image Description: 

A mirror selfie of my black “Relax It’s Only A Cane!” tee. I’m wearing new hair, a pixie cut wig, blond in the front, dark brown in the back. Wished I could have taken a full body photo but my phone doesn’t take pictures on voice command.

The white Abby icon is above the slogan walking with her white cane in one hand, handbag in the other. She is wearing heels and a stylish dress made of panels resembling overlapping banana leaves. The dress panels gently curve from her nipped in waist to just above the knee. Her signature hairstyle is best described as explosive.

 

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Suzanne Clarke | Blind Beauty Issue 42

Blind Beauty Issue 42 featured image description is in the body of the post.

Suzanne Clarke | Blind Beauty Issue 42

“Tears, flowing, rolling down my cheeks,
My life described in verse.
I’ve been feeling this for weeks and weeks,
This blind poet can sure converse.
The poem that hits home to me,
Was truly written from the heart.
It’s okay to scared said he,
The permission to live could start.
He helps so many with blindness,
Reaching out with his poetry.” ~Suzanne Clarke

Sometimes in our darkest moments, we can find a sliver of hope in the light of another. For Suzanne Clarke who is losing her eyesight to Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) another living with the same disease became her hope.

In the attached video Suzanne reads a stirring poem (beginning at 5:14) inspired by Blind Poet, Dave Steele. Dave, who also has RP, is the author of the Stand By Me RP book series.

When Suzanne sent me her video I couldn’t wait to share it with you! Like so many others who’ve lost sight later in life, we share so much in common. Our commonalities help uplift those new to sight loss by showing them there is hope and life without sight.

Suzanne, thank you so much for allowing Bold Blind Beauty the pleasure of sharing your story.

Blind Beauty Issue 42 Featured Image Description:

The image is a faux fashion magazine cover titled Blind Beauty. Suzanne is on the cover smiling brightly for the camera and sporting her sassy short silver hairstyle. She is wearing a red and black floral v-neck top.

Blocks of text superimposed on the photo are: “Bold | She Keeps Pressing Onward,” “Blind | She Has Deeper Insight,” “Beautiful | She Sees To The Heart Of Others”

Connecting With Suzanne Clarke On Social Media:

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Summer’s Glowing Glistening Skin

Summer's Glowing featured image description is in the body of the post.

Summer’s Glowing Glistening Skin

Summer’s Glowing Glistening Skin sounds almost poetic doesn’t it? A more truthful title might look something like this: Summer’s Slick Slimy Sweaty Skin. Sadly, I don’t think the proposed title would garner any attention.

Steph’s Summer Oily Skin Remedy

Glistening skin is foreign to me. I sweat! And when I say “sweat” I mean buckets. So today I’m going to share my summer skincare routine.

Bold Blind Beauty believes true beauty resides within. Sometimes the way we appear on the outside may not necessarily reflect what’s on the inside. For example, when it’s hot, hazy, and humid I find it difficult to feel beautiful. Toss in a hot flash and it’s a wrap.

It’s hard to feel beautiful when you really feel like a slimy, sticky slug. The past few days have been so sticky and hot the thought of putting on makeup made me nauseous. So what do I do to combat my summer oily skin? A simple 3-step skin care regimen which includes a tinted moisturizer. When the temperature gauge hits 90’s+ any attempt at applying foundation flies quickly out the window.

Recently, I swapped out a couple of my regular skin care products with an oil reducing cleanser and a tinted moisturizer. So when it feels hot enough to fry an egg on my face I cleanse, exfoliate, then use the moisturizer with SPF. After this, I throw some eyeliner, mascara, brows, and lips then I’m good to go.

So when it’s hot as a blast furnace my skincare routine allows my outside to more accurately reflect my inside. Translation: I don’t feel like a walking/talking puddle of mush.

Featured Image Description:

The image has Paula’s Choice products lined up on mint colored fleece. In the background is a brown standing decorative hammered metal leaf tray.

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Living Abundantly | Abby’s Reflections 32

Living Abundantly featured image description is in the body of the post.

Living Abundantly | Abby’s Reflections 32 

“Living abundantly is not only possible for blind persons, I feel it is almost a better way to live. I feel we perceive the world in a deeper, richer, and more profound and meaningful way as sightless persons.”

My life is full of daily adventures and discoveries of the world in a whole new and different way:

  • Using the blend of the rich fabric of sound,
  • The touch and feel of a human hand or hug,
  • Aromas of a café,
  • And the enjoyment of a wonderfully tasty meal.

It is an opportunity to show the world we are a beacon of hope as we communicate with everyone around us. We are a diverse bunch of “whole people” who do most everything our sighted friends can, and often more. We’re people who’ve gained new skills in using our other senses to experience the wonderful world we live in.

Living Abundantly Featured Image Description:

A white, teal and gray boldblindbeauty.com template uses the ‘Abby’s Corner’ image. Abby, sporting her signature explosive hairstyle is sitting cross-legged in her PJs (gray bottoms & white top with a gray collar). She is using her teal Abby logoed laptop with a headset/microphone and her white cane is propped up next to her.